seib seib

to the next 10…

seibseib — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 06:27:18 +0000

As I look back on the last 10 years, it’s quite a bit mixed. I started out the decade being 10 years old. Not much emotion there, just kind of figuring out the world. When 9/11 happened, that’s really when the world started making sense to me. When I found out a minister at the church I was attending had been killed in the first plane that hit the WTC, I really started to grow as a person and started to understand life and death, and just really what this world is and what it means.
Middle school was an awkward time in my life…bad makeup, bad clothes. But meeting some people who are still my best friends today, however meeting some who would hurt me immensely this past year. I became best friends with a guy and connected with him a lot, our friendship sort of ended hazily and he moved away. Ironically, he came into town last night on New Year’s Eve and I hung out with him basically all night! It was so, just, crazy and so great to hang out with him again. He was exactly the same as I remember him and I remembered why we were friends. We had the same friendly bond that we had all those years ago. It was an awesome way to end the decade.
High school really was fun for me. Everyone paints Hinsdale Central as this snooty high school that you will hate going through because of it’s highly publicized caste system and politics. However, I found that this couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I thought that Central was so much fun…and a lot of the fun was very unified. Football games, homecoming, the variety show, pep rallies, yearbook, whatever. You didn’t have to be a cheerleader or a jock to fit in and do these activities either. Everyone could, and did, go to football games or the variety show. Yearbook was cool and SO much fun to do. Everyone had school spirit. Our junior year we beat out the senior class during “pack the stands” week for our spirit dress up days because literally EVERYONE dressed up, not just the “cool kids.” I had so much fun. And the teachers weren’t political. I became friends with a lot of my teachers and I’m still in touch with a lot of them now two years out of high school and am going out to lunch with two of them (women, by the way!) over winter break. I mean, I just always found it awesome that like our principal and faculty would do videos for the variety show, about hallway linebackers or have an entire faculty video based on the office or pretend to talk to kids as they are “streaking” through school. Central was just really fun for me. I was pretty involved with some awesome things that allowed me to interact with a lot of different people, and talk to kids younger than me. I know its unrealistic to say that everyone will have a fantastic high school experience, but I do believe that if someone takes the time to try, it can be obtained.
During high school I met a few more friends whom I can now call my best friends. And I am so blessed to know these individuals, and am confident I will be in contact with them for the rest of my life. I honestly, cannot picture my life without them. The beginning of freshman year was tough. My mom had to have a very serious back surgery, to straighten her spine. This consisted of two actual surgeries, one abdominal surgery first and then the back surgery to put in the rods and screws. The abdominal surgery didn’t work the first time and had to be stopped immediately. My mom was in the ICU for a month or so. I was home alone a lot, in the company of a guy who I was hopelessly smitten with. We decided to halt her procedures for the holidays, as we found out my grandpa had cancer and we wanted to spend them with him. The day after Christmas, I was woken up by ambulance sirens and panicked family members. My grandpa had what we think was a stroke induced by his medical state…he had to constantly be on oxygen and to the eye it looked as if he lost half of his body weight. We followed to the hospital and could only stay for a few hours as we needed to get home for our flight to London the next day to get my sister over there for study abroad. That was the hardest thing to do, to leave him. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go to London. I didn’t want to say goodbye. He couldn’t even really talk…just make noises. But still, I didn’t want to leave all of my family there. I wanted to be there. But we left. He died that night. To this day his death is the hardest I’ve had to cope with. I miss how he would get up off the ground from watching TV when I walked in the door, and smile, and give me one of his bear hugs. That image will be in my mind forever.
When we got back, my mom had to do her surgeries. They didn’t become any easier. She was in the ICU for months. One organ would get sick, then another the next day, then the next day a different one. Again, I was alone a lot. Except this time, the guy I was hopelessly smitten with didn’t like me anymore. And I was heartbroken. My mom’s “friends” that she has had for decades never came over to help. See, I didn’t know how to cook then or fend for myself. It was my best friends mom, who had never been extremely close to my mom (yet) who helped me the most. Leslie Lindberg came over so many times with four course meals in her hands, giving me many instructions on how to cook the dinners, and with invitations to stay at her house afterward. She was my guardian angel. And she is today.
First year of college was uneventful basically…except that I joined my sorority and met the love of my life by chance, Jordan. I got random roommates, who happened to be the best roommates and best friends that I have at Mizzou. I think they also fall into the best friend category And one of them happened to be from the same town as Jordan, and introduced me to him at a fish fry she took me to. We come from completely different backgrounds, but thats what I like about him. I like that he introduced me to fishing, and that I LOVE doing it. (And I can’t wait til it gets warm out so we can fish this year and I can use my pink fishing pole he got me for Christmas!) We’ve had ups and downs, but we’ve made it through them. We’ve been through a lot together. And we’ve been there for each other. Because of this, I know that we have something special.
Over winter break during my first year, I lost a best friend I had for years. I don’t know why. She just dropped me. I had been talking to her, going out to dinners with her. But one day I realized that it was just me making the effort, making the calls, and texts. So I did an experiment: I’ll stop calling/texting and we’ll see if she notices. Well…she didn’t. She didn’t even say goodbye when she left for school across the country. She dropped me like a hot potato. She cut me off. Without rhyme or reason. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make sense to me. There have been the occasional blips, where I tried to write her a Facebook message, or a text, or even one lunch in the summer. But it never turned around. I don’t know how someone, can just drop such a close best friend, a sister, that they had for over five years. It hurt. It still hurts really bad, and even made me shed a few tears today. I hope she knows that and is ashamed. Because she should be. I had/have no reason to be treated in such a manner.
During the beginning of the summer of my freshman year, I got an email from my mom. Over the last couple of years, she had gotten extremely close with the only amazing woman who helped us out when she was sick, Leslie. Leslie unfortunately was sick herself with breast cancer. The email from my mom basically told me that I needed to come home from Columbia soon. I just remember rolling over and crying. It was happening…I always knew it was a possibility, but it never ever started to actually happen so it was always ok. I came home ASAP. I visited Leslie as much as I could. A lot of times, she wouldn’t even know I was there. Sometimes, she knew exactly what was going on and would remember little details like my boyfriends name or the fact that I was working at a restaurant. Those days gave me hope. Then those days got less and less frequent. And I’ll never forget when Anne came and talked to us that one day. The next week was filled with visits, and hidden crying. We (my friends and I) would leave after visiting and just go to one of our houses and cry. We hated that it was happening and that it was happening to our best friend. It made us sick to our stomachs wondering if “today was the day” or if every time our phones rang if it was “the call.” It was exhausting and just hard. I would just come home and cry. I didn’t want to go out at all. And when I did, lets just say I wasn’t very sociable. I wanted to slap everyone I saw. When it finally happened, I didn’t really know how I felt. Empty. The woman who helped me in my time of need was gone. Who cared about me and listened to me, and trusted me to find things (to shop for!) and help her daughter was gone. That night I felt empty. The next day I woke up feeling so depressed. I didn’t want it to be real. I didn’t want to get out of bed. It was the worst feeling. Emptiness. The wake was tolerable. It was warming to see how many people cared. To see the collages of beautiful pictures of her. To be able to go up to her coffin and say a few words to her. The funeral was hard. The New Oreleans Jazz music in the beginning was beautiful, yet haunting and emotional when the entire church went silent for a few minutes. I my voice along with my body was shaking singing “Amazing Grace.” I lost it during David’s eulogy when he talked about her being a “second mom for her daughter’s friends” and Anne looked back at us. I was ok during the rest of the eulogies, until the pallbearers took her away and we followed her with hankerchiefs. It was beautiful…but hard, I was shaking and almost felt as if I was going to fall down.
The rest of 2009 has been crazy. A good friend of mine’s brother passing away in a horrifying bus accident. My best friend from Mizzou transferred which has been so hard. Then, her father suddenly passed. Its awful and I hope all of my friends know that I am there for them whenever they need.
So…the decade has been filled with highs and lows. I know that I mostly covered lows. But there were highs. My boyfriend. Meeting THE MOST AMAZING BEST FRIENDS EVER. They will be my bridesmaids at my wedding. The decade was punctuated with amazing vacations…London, New York, St. Croix, Cabo for my senior year Spring Break. It was punctuated with a few interesting people, guys in particular, hockey players, guys in Cabo, haha. Many concerts: switchfoot, third eye blind, goo goo dolls, imogen heap, nsync and backstreet boys (classics!)
Basically: I’ve grown up A LOT. Especially just in this last year. I’ve grown up so much and I’m proud. I can’t wait to see what this next decade brings. I think that I was super young in 2000, so I can’t wait until 2020 when I’m reflecting on 2010…and to see what I think of myself…so here’s to the next 10!

what i don’t understand

seibseib — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:34:30 +0000

I usually think that I’m pretty good at interpreting things in life. Why guys do or don’t like me. Why friends do certain things or feel a certain way, etc. I’m good at interpreting people, I’m good at interpreting life. But there is one thing that I haven’t been able to understand in my life. I was best friends with this person for over a good 5 years. Then after a big dramatic situation happened, and after I defended her, and we all went to college, we started to grow apart. We all came home for winter break and I realized that I was the only one making the effort to hang out. I was the only one texting or calling to hang out. So I did an experiment: if I stop texting and calling, will she make an effort? will she even notice? So I stopped. And just as I hypothesized, she didn’t notice. She stopped talking to me. She didn’t even say goodbye to me when she left for college. It really hurt. Then when summer came around, and one of the hardest things in our (my friends and i’s) lives started to unfold, I thought she’d be there. She had been there all along. The reason why she claimed she couldn’t be there was high school drama. I thought she could just be the bigger person and realize that this literally was a life and death situation. Still, I never saw her. None of us did. We only saw her at the funeral. And my friend, her ex-best friend, only heard from her when she texted her to say “good luck at school thanks for being there” and she had the audacity to text back something so rude it doesn’t even deserve to be said on here. I have to say that is the last straw and I will make no more effort to contact her ever again. How dare she say something like that to someone who just lost a big part of their life, and to someone who used to be her best friend. How dare she act like she is so high and mighty, and better than all of us, when in fact she was all alone this summer. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard. It hurts to say all of this. Because she was my best friend, and we had great times. And I love her and I miss the good times we had together. I just don’t understand why she had to say and do these things. I will never understand. I just hope she understands one day how hurtful she has been.

vote for mandy :)

seibseib — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:44:45 +0000

my best friend’s friend in NYC…an awesome shoe design if you ask me!! i definitely think it should stay at number one.

http://www.zappos.com/sole-search?pbb_qsi=26676735

the BEST shoes i have bought in a long time

seibseib — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 10:32:45 +0000

These boots are the BEST!! They are so versatile. They are casual, yet nice enough to wear out with a fantastic outfit. For a while, I have been trying to find a boot that is casual but not as casual and bulky as Uggs. And I have FINALLY found them! They are made of really nice, soft suede and have a small wedge heel for support – they make that heel sound when you walk that makes you feel extremely confident. Also, there is something really amazing about over the knee boots. I bought a dress the other day that was a bit shorter than I realized. Like, if I bent over you would see my ass. If I wore flats or heels with this dress, it would look short and somewhat too revealing. But when I put these boots on, since they go over the knee, my whole leg and knees were covered and the only skin that was showing was a small portion of skin on my thighs. So the boots actually made the dress look extremely conservative, it was amazing! They are really comfortable too, as someone with extremely muscular legs from yoga and playing softball since elementary school – I always had trouble with zipper boots but these pull on boots are perfect and not tight at all.

Anyways, these boots are so chic and such a great buy. They are so versatile and I think are a must for all girls this season. Buy some!

These are Steve Madden “Blondee” Over the Knee Boots, sold at Nordstrom for $99.50.

the power of relaxation

seibseib — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:08:54 +0000

I think that the power of relaxation is huge. And so many people, especially people my age and in college don’t understand this and don’t realize this. I know that this time in life is about having fun and everything but there is a really easy way to balance fun with health physically and mentally and just be really happy and rested, and actually do well in school. I have had a lot of bad experiences with alcohol in my life, and not like me personally, sure I’ve had some bad nights, but I mean I’ve been in horrible situations because of someone else being extremely drunk. And for the years that I have been involved with alcohol (and I’m not even legal yet), I already have decided that nothing good ever comes from drinking excessively. Ever. A nice glass of chilled white wine is nie every now and then. But not a bottle or two, three nights a week. And so many college kids make this mistake. When I do go out, I make sure not to get beligerent. Because I hate being hungover, I can’t handle it. If you can, more power to you. But I can’t. And when I do go out, I always see girls (and guys) stumbling, not even able to walk or talk. I see people rushing to the bathroom to puke or I smell their breath and can tell that they puked. And every single time I tell myself how glad I am I am not in their position or state of mind. So many college kids don’t understand that staying in a night or two, or even dare I say it, for a whole weekend, won’t kill your reputation. Sorry, no one besides your friends knows who you are in college and no one cares. It’s too big. And you’re not in high school anymore. You don’t need to be ‘seen’. Take time for yourself. Curl up and watch your favorite TV show or favorite movie. Get a mani/pedi and put on a facial mask. Order a pizza (yes, even if your on a diet or trying to eat healthy, eating bad food in moderation is fine! treat yourself to something you don’t have to cook or prepare) I have found that in college I have been extremely more stressed out than in high school. The picture that I got of college is that people just go out and have fun and school is easy. That is not true in the slightest! All the tests are grouped together and it gets so overwhelming and at the end of the week you’re dead. I feel like a day/night of relaxation is a much better reward at the end of a hard week than going out and getting wasted and feeling like shit the next day. And trust me, its completely asinine to go out the weekend before the week of a bunch of exams. Basically, what I’m saying is college kids just need to relax a lot more than they do. I think a lot of people would find that they feel so much better, mentally and physically. I know I do.

there are more big d’s in the sea…

seibseib — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 07:46:34 +0000

I can’t even begin to fathom my life without my best friends of at least 5 years. It sounds corny, yes, but no one really understands how our friendship works. Going out to our favorite spots (Sushi House, Stir Crazy, Cheesecake Factory, Mon Ami Gabi, Jade, Portillos) when we are home is a must and have one of our perfect nights out. One time this last summer we had the perfect night, my very early birthday dinner. We evaluate the waiter, because one of my friends had previously called the restaurant with a request for ‘the best looking waiter’, and let’s just say that didn’t work out. But he knew about our request and we muffled our giggles in the menu. We overflirt anyway by at least double, make him feel welcome but sort of uncomfortable of course. Then judge whether or not he will be hardcore on our fake IDs. Like usual, it works fine and we have dinner with a glass or two of vino. Then dinner proceeds with a great conversation about something sexual, penises, sexual positions, one night stands or escapades. And the great thing is that we are confident in ourselves and each other enough to poke fun at ourselves and laugh. Oh we laugh constantly, making witty comments such as the title of this post. However, there is always at least one serious issue on the table that needs to be solved. Then after going around the table with advice, somehow it always comes back to sex and penises. Its the most comfortable conversation ever. A minute after we talk about the sex, then the issue on the table, then penises, someone could end up talking about the horrible gas they have and have had for a while. No one saying “Oh gross!” No one judging, just laughing on and on and trying to empathize. But little can anyone around us tell, that we have just experienced an immense, very trying, tragedy only a few days earlier.

This is an example of one my favorite nights I had with my friends. And how my friends are the most amazing, strong, beautiful, smart, non judgemental, funny, kind, and understanding people in the world. And I love them and miss them. It sounds corny to say that my best friends since high school will be my bridesmaids, but I firmly, immensely believe that they will be.

*****this picture is missing the DEAR ALEX JOYCE!****

I love them and miss them so much.

oh nanette…

seibseib — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:40:24 +0000

How I love you!! I wasn’t so sure about the last few collections, but I love, love, LOVE this new Spring 2010. Amazing color and such sexy, girly style, I love it. Again, this is why you are my favorite. Hopefully I can grab one or two of these!

sisters

seibseib — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:35:09 +0000

The best friends any girl could ever have out to a nice dinner a drinking wine. What could be better??

Miss them and love them lots

love!

seibseib — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:06:58 +0000

It looks like a shirt but the gold thing is just a scarf! I think it’s really cool and will be awesome for this winter/the holidays! Soo I of course just bought it not too expensive either…

I love scarves.

favorite look so far in spring 2010..

seibseib — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:52:15 +0000

from Nina Ricci. I’m loving all the see-through fabric thats being used this season. Ohhh how I would love to wear this dress…